Aug 17, 2009

Transexual Hugs Wet Man While Strangling Dog


Okay, so the title isn't quite capturing the truth. I just thought I'd try to alter the facts of the story, just a little, to get a few more hits. I mean if it's good enough for the major Australian Newspapers...

What's this post go to do with home-dadding? Just about nothing apart from the fact that I am a home-Dad (or a house husband, or a domestic engineer, or whatever you wanna call me) and that animal related sensationalism is becoming so regular now that I think we can all pass on the fibre-enforced cereal and keep a hop in our step with the exploits of Buckley the Dog's scholarship fund, Sam the stuffed Koala's right to be sat next to Pharlap and now... well, this -

Seems that the guy (Raden) in this picture is a hero. Even without knowing the story you can get the gist from the dramatic photo, can't you? He's just jumped from a pier into the swirling waters of Brighton Beach and risked his own life to save a little doggie from certain death. Sue, the terrified owner is obviously so overcome with gratitude that she falls into Raden's arms for an emotional wet embrace. She must really really love that little dog.

The report that goes with the photo makes us aware that after Bibi was blown off the pier, Sue watched on 'helplessly' as Raden 'dived' into the raging sea to save little Bibi. The 'humble hero' then handed Bibi back to Sue but played down his selfless bravery as all 'humble heroes' do.

Sound like this story should take up Page 3 of a major newspaper? The Herald Sun thought so, with the dramatic headline 'Hello Bibi, I feared you were gone' and the sub headline 'Hero braves stormy weather to rescue pet dog.' It all sounds so stirring and heart-warming and when I see the picture of little Bibi wrapped up in a warm blanket with his fluffy little face and puppy-dog stare I just want to believe everything they're throwing at me.

Bit worrying then to see a few photos on the Herald Sun website that don't quite match the story. One photo shows Raden casually removing his pants and shoes. Another shows that Raden didn't actually 'dive' into the ocean but lowered himself very tentatively into the soup when Bibi was only a meter from his grasp.

Sounds like I'm being a bit picky? I also happened to listen to Fox FM's interview with Raden. Seems like the real hero is the photographer of the dramatic scene. He was there long before Raden, watching widdle Bibi paddling around in the surf. It wasn't the screaming and breast thumping anguish from owner Sue that drew Raden to the resuce but the photographer who suggested Raden hop down and get the dog while he snapped a few photos. Even asked if he was carrying any rope so that he could lower himself down!

Would I have agreed to this? Would I have gone in to get Bibi? I mean he's so cute, the fluffy little bastard, how could I resist? Well, I would resist. Unless of course, there was something in it for me. Maybe if I was an underwear model I might do it because then I could strip down to my Calvin Klein's and do a lot of dancing around in front of a recognised photographer. Pretty good career move.

Hey! What? Turns out Raden is an underwear model. So bingo.

When asked on the Matt and Jo Show if there was a sense of urgency about the ordeal Raden admitted that he wasn't in 'too much of a hurry' and that Bibi had already been 'in there for a while'. And just before he was about to lower himself into the water Sue, displaying her unconditional love for Bibi, turned to Raden and said, 'Don't worry about it.'

Not sounding so dramatic and heroic now.

That didn't stop our Raden though. No, even if Bibi's owner didn't want him saved, the photographer did and urged Raden on! Stirred by the concern the photographer had for the animal, Raden settled himself and uttered these stirring words 'Okay, you just keep taking photos' and committed himself to the welfare of the yapping little shitzu.

So sounds like everyone, except Sue, is a winner. The photographer has sold photos all over the joint, Raden has had his hot wet modelling ass in major newspapers nationally and internationally as well as exposure through radio and television interviews and Bibi had his dip in the ocean cut short by about five minutes, after which time he would have been gently buffeted to shore.

Sue on the other hand seems to have got a dog back that she maybe didn't really want. Didn't want to dip her own hand in the ocean to get the dog, did she? Wasn't even thrilled enough in little Bibi to urge someone else to do it for her. She says 'I wasn't quite sure if I could make it to shore with a struggling dog', and I hear 'Stuff it, I'll just get another dog.' (Also evidenced by the photo which indicates she was so upset she couldn't drown the dog that she was going to do her best to choke it to death.)

Here's a tip, Sue - next time get a heavier dog that's not so likely to get blown of piers. But, seriously, I do understand where you're coming from. We have a few little yap-yap mongrel dogs in our street too.

Next time Melbourne has gale force winds, I might just take them for a lead-less stroll on a pier.





3 comments:

Kylee Doust Agency said...

Hey RD,
i was just about to suggest you quit reading the Herald Sun and start reading a serious newspaper and then I thought I'd better just check that the other "serious" newspapers hadn't covered the story.
Shite.
They had. http://www.theaustralian.news.com.au/story/0,,25939146-5006785,00.html
But they were a little more journalistic about it and added in more precise details.
I think the fact that the guy was there to scatter his grandmother's ashes deserved a comment from you too, though!
Maybe you could change your blog name to Mediawatch Reservoir Dad...

Eric the Bolton said...

My opinion is that Bibi was trying to get away from Sue.. WHo knows what untold horrors are protected by patient dog whisperer confidentiality..

Anonymous said...

Showing off his "hot modelling ass" indeed. Looks like his penis is hanging out in that photo too! How risque.

Either it was that cold or he is hung like a...