You know what I reckon? If you’ve had your house burnt down, your habitat destroyed, your extremities cooked and your death ensured by cyst-inspired urogenital chlamydiosis your pretty well stuffed already.
Speaking of stuffed, Reservoir Mum thought she was just about stuffed last week while hanging out at the pool with Archie and Lewis.
She was sitting on a stool, poolside, next to four Muslim women wearing full body Burkahs. One of the women was dressed entirely in black. Lewis exited the pool, stood in front of the women, poked a toddler finger in their direction, said 'Look Mummy!' and started counting -
‘One, two, three… and a black one!”
Reservoir Mum was horrified but lucky enough to see the collection of balloons close by and said, “Yeah, Lewis. Lots of balloons there aren’t there?”
Lewis nodded and said, ‘Ah-ha,’ which sounded so suspiciously like Allah that Reservoir Mum couldn’t stand the possibility of offending any longer and hightailed it into the pool to dish out some backstroke lessons.
Good thinking Reservoir Mum.