My Backyard (The Series) and Buckley (The Injured Dog)

Buckley the dog has been all over the media for the past week. For those that haven't heard (anyone out there?) Buckley had his ears and tail lopped off by a very disturbed and cruel individual. It's horrible, pointless suffering and it sucks. But I have to say that I'm a bit disturbed myself by the incredible amount of attention this story has received. Just look at this one report.

There have been thousands of calls, "grown men crying", money being donated etc etc. And yesterday I received an email asking me to donate to Buckley's scholarship fund...

A fricken scholarship!!

Human compassion is a good thing but, come on. Make sure the dog's injuries heal properly. Give it to a nice family so that it's fed once a day, wormed, knackered and walked regularly but let's not get carried away. I worked as a youth support worker for ten years and there were kids who suffered worse than Buckley who were shuttled from one shelter to another without ever receiving this sort of attention. Take the money away from a dog that needs little more than food and a pat and put it towards something a little more important - like a human.

That's what I reckon but I am not an animalist and just to prove it I am going to test the loyalty of my audience (Hi Mum, Hi Dr Forsythe) by posting a series of animal related writings titled "My Backyard" over the next few weeks. They have absolutely nothing to do with parenting or children (or do they Dr Forsythe?) and may lead to half of my audience bailing out on me (seeya Mum) but hey, I love ducks and chickens and I think other animals may be useful as well.

Some important information before you embark on this backyard journey with me:

• We had rabbits. One was eaten by a dog, two escaped into foxland.
• We had two ducks. I loved them but broke my leg when I chased them and slipped on some of their shit. So we moved them to a nice public pond. We thought it would be great for them. A week later they were captured and culled with dozens of other other similar looking ducks.
• We still have chickens. Four of them. They give us lots of eggs.

My Backyard 1 – Us

You’d call me middle class.
You may even call me

a white middle class c*nt.
I can accept this only because
I can accept its irrelevance.

Out there, in the world,

I am a person among billions of others.
Here, in my backyard, I am a pink thing –
I have wiggly bits that lead to wigglier bits.
At the top of me is a misshapen head.
I am unusual and inappropriate.
If you don’t believe me
you only have to ask the rabbit,
the four chickens
and these ducks.